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Student Research Models

Sample Research Paper 1

Smith 1

Joe Smith

 Mr. Barnes

 Language Arts 12th period

 2 June 2009

                                                                   The R.M.S. Titanic

          The Titanic was thought of by a man named Thomas Andrews and designed by a man named Bruce Ismay in the year of 1910. Bruce Ismay thought of the name Titanic because it meant large, powerful, and grand. When the titanic was made they called it "The ship of Dreams" and it was. Titanic first set sail on April 10, 1912. The Titanic was getting ready to set sail for New York bringing people from Belfast, Ireland. The captain of the Titanic also known as Edward John Smith hoped to get to New York by April 12, 1912.

          The Titanic was a very large ship and could hold up to 3,000 people aboard. When the ship was built Thomas Andrews wanted it to be an un-sinkable ship. So with this thought in his head he put only 12 life boats aboard the ship just incase anything happened and plus he thought for an un-sinkable ship the ones he had already were a waste of space.

          The Titanic had been sailing only been sailing four days when it hit the iceberg on April 14, 1912. Some people say that it would have been better if the ship hit the iceberg straight on; other people say it would have done more damage and sunk faster if it hit it straight on. People also soon as the ship hit the iceberg six chambers. When the chambers filled more and more kept filling. Because there were only twelve life boats the women and children were to go first before the men. Some men who were on the boat with no wife but a child were able to get on the boat. Of course the first class ladies and their children were before the second or third class ladies and so not all women and children got of the boat safely. As the boat started tipping more they quickly got everybody they could of the boat.

PROBLEMS:

  • incomplete essay (it needs 5 paragraphs, including a conclusion)
  • it has no in-text citations
  • it has no works cited page

FIXES:

  • finish it
  • add in-text citations from outline or from content cards
  • add a works cited page

 

Sample research paper 2

West 1

James West

Mr. Barnes

Language Arts

2, June 2009

 

The "unsinkable" Titanic

  Imagine riding on a ship called the Titanic. Enjoying all of the luxury's it has to offer then you are informed the "unsinkable" ship you are riding on is now sinking. Well that's what happened to the 2,205 people riding the ship on that starry night. So researchers are amazed the once called "unsinkable" ship the Titanic that would be around forever, is now gone.

Construction of the Titanic

  It took 50,000 men to build the Titanic. The ship weighed 46,328 gross tons with out any luggage or people on it. It was 882 feet long (Garzke 300) with 29 boilers powering the engines. There were 5 anchors and it took 23 horses to carry one.

Sailing on the Titanic

  The titanic was on its way to England, France from New York (Kent 3). There we many luxuries's to enjoy while riding the titanic such as 5 star meals, gyms, beauty salons, freshwater pools and much more (Kent 5, 6). There were first class cabins, second class cabins, and third class cabins you could stay in.

West 2

The Sinking

  Happened on April 24, 1912. Crew members tried to avoid it but the warning came to late so they had only a hour and a half to get everyone evacuated. Many people on the boat thought it was just a practice so they stayed in their cabin (Kent 17). Some of the millionaires on the boat refused to board the rescue boats (Kent 21). The water was 28 degrees Fahrenheit (Kent 23). Two and a half hours after the Titanic hit the iceberg the vessel broke in two and the Titanic sank (Garzke 299).

The Rescue

  Crew members loaded women and children first onto the rescue boats. Over 150 women and children did not find a rescue boat in time (Kent 25). 705 people were rescued and lived. 1,500 people were left on the boat or were in the water dead.

  

 

Works Cited

Schmeling, Derek. "SIRS Discoverer." THE SINKING OF THE TITANIC. 30, April 2009 http://Discoverer.prod.sirs.com

Kent, Deborah. The Titanic. United States: Children's Press 1933. Print.

Garzke, William. "Titanic" World Book. 2003. Print. 

 

PROBLEMS:

  • Some sentences are inaccurate
  • Works Cited page is NOT in alphabetical order
  • The URL on Works Cited page leads to the wrong place

FIXES:

  • Check accuracy of all sentences
  • Alphabetize Works Cited page
  • Fix bad URL